...the one that got away...

...have you, ever in your life, had a "one that got away"?

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

=~=~=~=~=~==~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~ letter of resignation...

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple, when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes,but that didn't bother you, because youdidn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.

All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair.

That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible.

I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So . . . here's my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause........

....."Tag! You're it."

"...after all this time, i never thought we'd be here... when my love for you is blind..." of my sleepless nights...

i havent been blogging for a long time now... havent had time... more often than not, id rather catch up some sleep than face the PC when i get home... id rather spend time with my friends chatting on the phone, go out on some out of town trips, late night gimmicks, than stay put in one corner, write down my thoughts, and reflect... and it's been a while since i did some reflecting alone...

i used to express my feelings and thought through poetries, short stories, and drawings... i believe that a pen is mightier than anything else (i wouldve typed "sword" but it's gonna sound like a cliche)... i am a very transparent person...but the mysteries in me, i rarely let people see... and i mean rare... probably because those are the things i myself dont understand... those are a mixture of emotions that i couldnt explain... and oftentimes, when i feel that way towards a person, it means that the person means a lot to me... be it a friend, a colleague, a stranger...

right now, it's one of those times when i can't sleep... but this time, my thoughts are all a blur... i had a training earlier today... left the house at around 5:30 in the morning... i came home at 4:30 PM and dozed off until ~11PM... that's probably one of the reasons why i still cant get a decent sleep at this time... but that isnt all there is to it... i know there's more... it's going to take more than a few hours of sleep to keep me up at this time (im physically tired, just so u know,, my limbs are killing me!)... weird eh?

right now... i want to know who i have become after my 2007 turmoil had passed... i had experienced the saddest, most depressing christmas and new year in my entire life... ive been hurt... i survived... ive learned my lessons... lost a few people in my life... gained more friends... became more mature (i hope...) and still trying to learn more about life... ive started a few more hobbies that ive been wanting to do... explored new places... fell out of love... fell in love...

and so... this ends my first ranting entry... i know it doesnt make sense... i know that when i start to read these entries again after a few years... im gonna laugh at it... btw, my previous blogsite was (if you're up to some reminisin'...)

...signing off...

"...keep bleeding... keep keep bleeding..."